Being strong and confident is important for our well-being. Strength enables us to stand up to physical and mental adversity. Confidence allows us to be true to ourselves and others and make our way on our own terms. They are attained from within.

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To achieve both, we must be one with ourselves, accepting and loving who we are. This isn’t always easy, because society conditions, educates, and civilizes us in such a way that we begin to condemn ourselves. For example, society states that we should not be sad, we should be happy. If our truth is that we are sad, we repress the truth, becoming something we are not: a phony. This phony side is what society accepts. It creates a division within us.

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Psychological pain exists because we are divided, at war with ourselves. As a result, life becomes complicated. When we lose touch with our inner truth, we become lost, isolated, and deeply unhappy. We create challenges, adversity, and difficulties to distract ourselves and prove we are worthy. 

 

If we choose to live our sadness with total authenticity, the division disappears. Here are four ways to build
strength and confidence from within: 

Accept Who We Are
We must live our sadness in total authenticity. By doing so, a miraculous door will open within, because the division goes away. The sadness remains, but the need to be anything else does not. There is no effort, no conflict, and no war. Instead, there is the knowledge of who we are. With that knowledge comes relaxation, and in that relaxation, there is grace and joy.

We might wonder how feeling our sadness can bring us joy. It seems paradoxical, but it is true.

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We owe it to ourselves to try. However, we must also understand that accepting our sadness with joy as the agenda is not going to work. Joy arises from the authentic expression of our sadness. 

 

Understand that Joy Is a Byproduct of Authenticity
Joy is a natural outcome of becoming united with our sadness, because it is our truth in this moment. In the next moment, we may be angry. We must accept that, too. In the moment after that, we may be something else. We must learn to accept all our feelings to become authentic.

Live Without Division
When we live in the moment, with acceptance, and without division, selflove, self-worth, and self-confidence will naturally rise within us. Dropping all ideals of how we should be, we accept who we are in each moment. The journey of self-acceptance starts when we become aware of our feelings and allow ourselves to embrace them. We are human. Feeling is part of the human experience. To feel is to live and be alive. Learning to allow, experience, and accept our feelings when they arise  helps us close the division.

Understand Our True Spirit Is Undamaged
On the other side of our sadness, hurt, and despair is a magnificent, brilliant, and luminous spirit, which is not  damaged. Our spirit is love, and when aligned with our authenticity, it guides us with grace and ease. Accepting  ourselves helps us become strong and confident from within, so that no matter what other people think or say, we are deeply rooted in our own self-worth. Our feelings are the key. Love is always waiting on the other side. The only thing blocking us from receiving more love isour resistance to allowing ourselves to feel.

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We may say to ourselves: “I don’t want to feel, because I don’t want to be hurt anymore.” I did. As I allowed myself to start feeling, however, something wonderful happened. I began to experience more love, to laugh, and to enjoy life. Feeling liberated me from my prison of pain. It opened me up to self-love, selfworth, and self-confidence, and to receiving love from others.

Inner strength and confidence are an inside job. When we get to the point where we can accept ourselves, the need for challenges, adversity, and complication falls away and we no longer have to prove our self-worth.

Four-Minute Meditation: Accept Yourself
Start gently, with compassion for yourself. Sit or lie down, whichever is comfortable. Breathe, relax your body, and open your palms upward in a receptive position. Allow your feelings, whatever they are, without judging, condemning, or criticizing yourself. Accept what is happening, in each moment, without wanting it to be different. When you fight what is, you make it worse. You are the way you are. Accept yourself with joy and gratitude.

Benefits: In the very experiencing of your feelings, you relax. In those moments of relaxation, miracles can occur. Trust that, even when you feel miserable, on the other side of the misery is love. Our natural state is love. All we have to do is accept who we are, in any given moment, and love is there.

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